Disney vs. Reality

I just finished watching the Princess and the Frog and as per usual lately I'm wondering where my "Prince Charming" may be hiding. It does seem that Disney certainly gives us unrealistic expectations when it comes to our own personal fairytales. I'm oddly ok with that though. Why not dream big? You just have realize there won't be a full piece orchestra to underscore important moments and sometimes they won't seem totally perfect, but I definitely think there are those moments that take on a surreal feeling that make them seem dreamlike.

I've had a few of those moments myself - both romantic ones and non-romantic ones. There's sort of two that were very strongly romantic, one that's vaguely romantic (but more stupid comedy than true romance in that even at the time my head was going "oh this is probably not a smart move but what the hell") and many that are non-romantic ones.

The vaguely romantic, but very comedic one was one of those "oh god I could do so much better, but I like that he's clearly interested in me" make-out sessions that just sort of...happened. That had the circumstances not lined up that day in terms of having spent a good portion of my day having frustratingly flirty conversations with the guy I was actually interested in who lived far from where I actually was before he signed off to go to a party, along with having felt I was trapped in my dorm on campus, I never would have even gone over to watch movies with this other guy. Not so much a regret, more of something not to be repeated any time soon. But even at the time it had a surreal quality to it in a lot of ways in that everything that led to the initial kiss lined up just so as well.

The romantic ones...they were a lot of fun. One was a silly romantic one were after a few too many drinks we shared a cab home with another girl because we all lived in the same area. Somehow him walking me home turned into a detour to his place to get sweaters to keep us warm, which moved from hugging and cuddling with me sitting on his lap on his desk chair as we watched youtube videos to a rather fun make-out session. It was all very silly - at one point he farted and got really embarrassed but my response was to giggle and make a fart joke. Then as we were spooning and I was trying to explain why I wasn't spending the night he wouldn't let go of me and when I finally felt his grip slacken just enough I yelled "SPIN MOVE!" and rolled away and off the bed where I then sat on the floor giggling like a maniac before I could pull myself together to make my way home.

But the truly romantic one was when I lived overseas for a year of university. We were in a theatre group together and had been flirting in the final month of rehearsal and got on really well. We walked home together following a get-together in the pub after a performance. Before we'd even left the air seemed to tingle with that strange sense of anticipation that never seems to fulfill itself in my case usually. We were out on the patio and it was chilly so he had offered me his jacket. First clue. Then at one point we'd been standing saying goodbye to someone who was leaving and when I went to pester him and poke him in the side he grabbed my wrists and spun me around so that my arms were crossed over myself with his arms over top, hugging me from behind. We got progressively more touchy with each other, pushing the boundaries and flirting.

Then we left together and when we made it outside he went to get his keys to unlock his bike, only to realize they were in his jacket pocket so he came really close to me and fished them out, eyes locked on mine the whole time. Very intense. Made it about 100m away, not even with him walking his bike before suddenly we were holding hands. Conversation was easy and relaxed. Outside my door we were discussing the difficulties of language and how it can be hard to get your point across so I said "Yeah, sometimes you just have to point and say I want that one." I was rather sassy when I did it, cocking my head to the side and giving him a pointed look that he instantly responded to with a kiss. It didn't go much beyond some kissing, but still, very cute and very romantic from my point of view.

But there's far more non-romantic surreal moments in my life. I'm one of those people who often suffers from horrible amounts of deja vue. Usually about rather mundane things - like sitting in class. But when it happens, it freaks me out. I've had some things that were very significant in terms of dreams happening about a month after the fact in real life down to the last detail.

Winning big awards, big moments in my life like graduation or moving for school and to go overseas. Moving back home after my year abroad was huge. Traveling in Russia. Going to Greece when I was still in high school and feeling as though I'd already stepped foot in Delphi in a past life almost. Wilderness camping trips. Giving the eulogy at my granny's funeral last year. The day before moving away for my first year of university, one of my best guy friends (who I literally grew up with and have a one of a kind relationship with) coming down to say goodbye and handing me a framed copy of the picture of us from graduation (his mom clearly got him the frame but STILL). Getting the "I only like you as a friend" talk multiple times from different guys when I've gotten ballsy enough to say something, but knowing in the back of my head I'll never be able to say it to the one guy I probably should say something to. Winning my 100m race and advancing. Scoring the winning goal in the final that got us the championship in soccer.

There's so many memories that have a strange quality to them even as it happens. It doesn't seem entirely real.

So does Disney exaggerate? Of course they do. Does it bother me that they seem to have a certain level of sexism in their movies in regards to how women are supposed to act? Sure. Is it any worse than any other movie though? Not really. Do I mind having my expectations raised? No. I know I deserve the best and I'm not going to settle for less. I think if nothing else you need to find what makes you happy and for many that is in finding happiness in love. You can say I'm being old fashioned or whatever, but I don't care. Stories where everyone gets a happy ending are needed sometimes.